First, I must thank the the Yakuza board on Reddit for bringing my attention to Takaya Kuroda’s sterling tunes. Without them, I don’t think Christmas would’ve happened. Cheers for making Christmas happen, folks. The Christmas tune in question is titled “My little sweet honey”. It’s largely in Japanese but the chorus is home to Kuroda belting out, “Please, pleasee, marryyyy me”. Soon after there’s mention of a “present”, which is undeniably merry. Later he hits us with two rounds of “Happy! pause Christmas!” as the festive vibes reach fever pitch. Let’s all take a second to appreciate Kuroda’s fit - pure flames. Final boss of the Millenium Tower look, with that all-white get-up with a dash of distressed denim. Feliz Navidad used to be my favourite Christmas song, contested by Slade’s classic. But not anymore. They’ve been cracked across the bells by a bike-wielding Kazuma Kiryu. I see him down the karaoke parlour crooning into a mic as the screen ripples and he’s transported above Kamurocho at night, riding in a sleigh led by the series’ most iconic characters: Mr. Masochist, Mr. Libido, Mr. Moneybags, and Mr. Shakedown. Haruka signs presents as a leading J-Pop idol. Majima is dressed as an elf. It’s a truly Tojo Clan Christmas. I suppose most Yakuza games are Christmas games, anyway actually. Many of them are set in December and a number of them feature Christmassy quests. There’s one in Yakuza 5 which has you dress as Santa and face-off against “The Santa Hunters”. One of these thugs even sings their own take on an iconic carol verse, “O’er the killing fields we go, laughing all the way!”, which properly cracked me up at the time. The band’s other tunes are pretty rocky, reminiscent of actual Yakuza tracks. The sort I could imagine underscoring fights with punks outside Club Shine or the bowling alley. And hey, if you’re after some timeless Yakuza tunes, Kuroda’s band also has you covered. I mean, you can’t go wrong with a bit of live Baka Mitai can you?
